she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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