when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
