Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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