lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize