can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
