you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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