Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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