omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
