is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
