I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
