wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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