belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
