remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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