It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
