3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
