garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
no, he came in my armpit
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have tasted many bathrooms
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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