It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
