I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
