This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
