i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The adults are the big ones right?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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