Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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