If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
