Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
