The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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