Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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