he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
