yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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