at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
