Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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