I cannot find my penis.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I still have a little drunk in my system
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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