I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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