Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
