dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
