just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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