I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize