just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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