I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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