hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
