Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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