So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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