I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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