didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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