my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
