Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
