I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
