yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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