You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
