He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
