Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
