you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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