That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This is classic penis vs brain.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
