She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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