We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
