Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize