how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
