yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He's on the porch naked. Help.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
