I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
