just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
