White coat. Heels.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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