she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
