i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He kissed a someone with a penis
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
