well you can't waste a boner
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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